Dealing With Anger

Monday, January 26th, 2015

Dear C, 

I would have scratched your back more often if you would have gone down on me more.  But let's not focus on what's gone and what will never be, the pleasure we will never give one another and the things we will never illuminate by listening more closely or looking more intently. Let's focus on what happened last night.

I was home, my lights were on, I know you saw. You are angry, I get that and I would be angry too. But please do not try to make me feel unsafe in my own home; please do not try to leave your mark on my building, like a dog pissing on its territory. As vengeful a game you may think this is, I'm not playing. I want to move on from you, and I'm asking you to please let me.

I no longer crave the warmth in the security of your body hugging mine while falling asleep, although I remember it well and fondly. 

It saddens me that you used to help me feel like the world was a safe place for me to live in, while now you are clearly willing to excercise a petty power that makes me quiver with fear and lividity. 

Please leave me alone, like you asked me to do for you just a few days ago - a request that I respected.

- A